a day in heels

7:40am Step out of the house feeling cautiously optimistic and wonderfully tall.  Finally, I am one of the Londoners all dressed up for work with heels, black tights, power office dress and trench coat. 

7:41am Stop less than 30 steps from my flat and put on my emergency pair of flats as my heel keeps coming out of the right shoe. I can’t be expected to walk in them if they won’t stay on my feet!

8:10am Buy some heel padding at Boots (I told you I had small feet!) and insert to both wedges. 

8:30am Put the heels back on and start my day in the office with all the 6 foot tall confidence £12.99 wedges can buy!

9:15am – 2:30pm Do not sit down. I chose the day to trial heels where I was helping administer interviews in rooms across campus and running up and down stairs ferrying candidates around.  I also had to run to the post office and Tescos for work errands and then forgot I had volunteered to stand (STAND!) At a booth promoting volunteer opportunities out on a busy campus street. My. Feet. Were. Numb.

2:45pm Sit down and have my first cup of coffee of the day and feel the blood rush back into my toes.

3:06pm First major wobble walking in the ofice, but Emma says she always trips there too. Clearly a ghost and not my fault.

3:10pm Decide not to print something because I can’t gather the strength to stand. So eco friendly!

3:45pm Try to engage in some office banter but can’t stand long enough at my co-workers desk

4:17pm Start to embrace the loud CLOMP-CLOMP-CLOMP I make walking down the hall. it’s like my own lame tall white girl in the office beat.

5:00pm Determined to make it the full day leave my emergency heels under my desk and face the 1k walk to the bus in heels.

5:08pm I seem to be walking a lot slower than usual.  Attempting to stand up straight while focusing on the cobblestones below trying not to fall is awkward and I’m sure everyone on Lincolns Inn enjoyed their show.

5:11pm Find myself cursing women who walk by in flats. Thinking how much better their lives are than mine.

5:20pm Numbness sets in and I feel OK, might be getting the hang of this pain = pleasure thing.

5:22pm I see my bus 100ft from the stop in what would be normally an easy half-block jog to catch it just in time. Take one fast step out of instinct and decide that might not be the best plan. Lesson: Girls in heels are late because they will miss the bus. 

5:38pm Get to the top deck of the bus without incident. Wonder if this can be considered cross-training for my half-marathon in February. 

6:19pm Arrive home kick off shoes, remove tights and finally realize what all those foot massage and bubble bath commercials are about.

6:23pm Wonder if I’m the first woman to ever feel this kind of high heeled pain and speak out about it? I should start #occupyhighheels (Clearly still delirious) 

6:29pm Google ‘glamorous ways to engage in conversations with people who are shorter than you’ so I can be less hunchback of notre dame and more Duchess of Cambridge. Then put on wool socks and trashed house slippers and call the past 11 hours a high heeled success!

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